The Standard

As some of you already know, tonight, The Standard, New York is facing off with MILK Studios on the rink at the hotel in a fierce bout of TONSIL HOCKEY. I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not that. This is going to be a bloodbath. A fashion massacre. A death so icy cold that the team over at MILK will want to take a summer vacation in Antarctica. (I don’t really know what that means, but just go with it.)

If you don’t know MILK, let see review some facts that will give you a little insight into their world…

-Milk is a very strong pollutant. It is about 400 times more polluting than untreated sewage. One thousand gallons of milk has the same polluting potential as the untreated sewage from a town of 7,000 people.

-Three glasses of milk is equal to the fat from 53 slices of bacon.

-Most of the world’s population cannot tolerate the lactose in milk.

-It takes ten pounds of milk to make one pound of cheese.

And the last bit of information about milk, straight from the Bible and directly from God’s lips…

“Everyone that useths milk is unskillful in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe.” I assume the Bible means ME when it says HE.

Oh, and if anyone has seen MILK’s main man, please let me know…

Tonsil Hockey is tonight, Thursday February 16, from 8pm - 11pm on The Rink at The Standard, New York.